Thursday, December 26, 2013


In an effort to de-stigmatize mental illnesses, I would like to let you, my dear readers, know that I suffer from PTSD on a daily basis.

Some of you may know the background story. In case you don't, the very short version is that I was mentally and emotionally abused by someone I trusted. I was young, I was dumb, and I truly believed he loved me and wanted the best for me, despite all signs to the contrary.

If you are in that situation right now, please feel free to reach out to me. Know that it isn't your fault, and know that just because there are no physical scars, that does not mean you are not being abused. You know, in the back of your head. And if you do, please take care of yourself.

And if your loved one is the one being abused, please be understanding. Know that it isn't as easy as "just get out," or "you know he's not treating you well, just walk away." It just doesn't work that way. Be there for your loved one to talk to, to stay with, to reach out to - whatever you can. But realize that they may not leave right away. It just isn't that easy.

My name is Monica. I work full time, take three night classes, design knitting patterns, spin & knit, and I have PTSD. I take three medications to keep my flashbacks, dreams, anxious tics, OCD tendencies, and panic attacks under control. And I am happy.

If you also suffer from these things, be your own advocate. Someday, you will be okay. It does get better.
Much has changed in my life since my last posts! I haven't put out new patterns, but I hope that will change in 2014. I have a few goals for 2014 that I will refine over the next week to create solid New Years resolutions, but the basics are:
1. Release 6 patterns (one every two months, approximately)
2. Write more. A blog post once a week, and maybe a novel over the year?
3. Eat at home more - at least 4 nights a week.

I'm going to change this blog over to a slightly more all inclusive blog of my life, but my life is mostly spinning and knitting anyway, so fear not! It won't be boring, promise.