PTSD

In an effort to de-stigmatize mental illnesses, I would like to let you, my dear readers, know that I suffer from PTSD on a daily basis.

Some of you may know the background story. In case you don't, the very short version is that I was mentally and emotionally abused by someone I trusted. I was young, I was dumb, and I truly believed he loved me and wanted the best for me, despite all signs to the contrary.

If you are in that situation right now, please feel free to reach out to me. Know that it isn't your fault, and know that just because there are no physical scars, that does not mean you are not being abused. You know, in the back of your head. And if you do, please take care of yourself.

And if your loved one is the one being abused, please be understanding. Know that it isn't as easy as "just get out," or "you know he's not treating you well, just walk away." It just doesn't work that way. Be there for your loved one to talk to, to stay with, to reach out to - whatever you can. But realize that they may not leave right away. It just isn't that easy.

My name is Monica. I work full time, take three night classes, design knitting patterns, spin & knit, and I have PTSD. I take three medications to keep my flashbacks, dreams, anxious tics, OCD tendencies, and panic attacks under control. And I am happy.

If you also suffer from these things, be your own advocate. Someday, you will be okay. It does get better.

Much has changed in my life since my last posts! I haven't put out new patterns, but I hope that will change in 2014. I have a few goals for 2014 that I will refine over the next week to create solid New Years resolutions, but the basics are:
1. Release 6 patterns (one every two months, approximately)
2. Write more. A blog post once a week, and maybe a novel over the year?
3. Eat at home more - at least 4 nights a week.

I'm going to change this blog over to a slightly more all inclusive blog of my life, but my life is mostly spinning and knitting anyway, so fear not! It won't be boring, promise.

New Pattern: Liam's Booties!

These booties were designed out of necessity. I had only US 8 dpns and worsted weight yarn. You would think there would be plenty of baby bootie patterns made with these specifications. You would be wrong.

So here are Liam's booties. Worsted yarn, US 8 dpns, and only limited by your imagination.....

Just published Velma, my latest pattern. 

Velma is a pair of quick to knit fingerless mitts in luxurious 100% Merino Classic Sock Yarn by Sunrise Fiber Co. 

Start your Christmas knitting today!

I have started my Etsy shop up! Take a look....

My patterns will be sold there, in addition to Ravelry, and I will also carry upcycled and hand dyed yarns! I am so excited!

A peek at my next pattern...

Currently being test-knit... Aubergine!

Sweater progress

I am currently knitting my very first sweater, and I thought I would share my progress!

Every non-knitter I tell about my love affair with knitting says "Do you knit sweaters?" or "Knit me a sweater!" or "Doesn't it take forever to knit a sweater?"  As frustrated as I am with stereotypes, I figured it was about time I gave it a go.

So here she is... a peek of my Paulie, so far....

I know, an adventurous first sweater since its in fingering weight yarn, but I love working with smaller yarns, so I didn't think it would be too oppressive. This is Malabrigo "Arbol" and Ella Rae Merino Lace. 

Have you ever knitted a sweater? :)